i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
