Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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