You really coming over, don't trick.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The air was thick with penises
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
