Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
they need to just BURY HIM!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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