A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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