I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
