I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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