You work out of a Hotel?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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