i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
