Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
