My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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