I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
