how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
