How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You've changed since you got that strap on
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
