ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My dick has a subreddit
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
