I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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