last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
