well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
