When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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