I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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