Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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