If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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