I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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