Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
