Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
