I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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