i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
