Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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