haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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