Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
