benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
