I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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