Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize