Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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