Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
