it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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