Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize