My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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