I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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