if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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