his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
