found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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