But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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