sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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