We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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