1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
