Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
