i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize