VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
