The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Vodka?
Forever.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
