3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
