The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
