Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
