Life is so much better after having sex.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize