Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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