is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
