The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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