shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i will never coherently bang her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
