I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
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Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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